It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
