It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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