my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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