Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
