I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We got so high we made milksteak
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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