I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
