so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
