I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
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