I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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