My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
