Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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