i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
