Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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