There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
vagina is talking i cant
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
