Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
