god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
