I'm really into asian looking animals
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
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