its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
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