I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
