nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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