I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
