people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize