Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
