Non-Jews are for practice
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize
