I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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