Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
