Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
