she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
