My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
