Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
