i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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