she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Randomize
