She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
