Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
