It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
