How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
