He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
