he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
