You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
