btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
my poor anus
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
