You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
