Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
So squirting runs in the family.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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