is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
