I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
