They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
