like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
