His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
