are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Randomize
