i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
