we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
