She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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