I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
