how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
