i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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