just come out here and I will go home with you...
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
