Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
