im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
