Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize