McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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