The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
