under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
