As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
