Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
